


Nothing But A Singing Fool (But I'm Your Fool)

by MostlySane



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Bandom, teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Danny is just along for the ride, Friends With Benefits, Multi, PR agent!Lydia, Recreational Drug Use, Rockstar AU, Stiles in weird outfits, Stiles singing punk rock, musician!stiles, the rest of the pack is out of their life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MostlySane/pseuds/MostlySane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles sings punk rock and cusses and probably smokes and definitely gets it on with Adam Lambert as some point.</p><p>One-shot collection sort of thing. Updates will be sporadic and spastic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You like to think you're the jelly in the donut

**Author's Note:**

> Just a weird collection of little one shots that are (at the moment) chronological, but may not always be, about Stiles singing rock music (and everything in between) and meeting (and possibly sleeping with) Adam Lambert. Because I'm obsessed with pairing all my favorite people, both real and fictional, together at some point.
> 
> Chapter titles are probably completely unrelated and are just whatever song lyrics that are in my mind at the time. Make what you will of them.
> 
> Not beta'd, so if you see any mistakes, hit me up.
> 
> Disclaimer of awesome because everything I do is awesome...not really though:  
> I own them not, so sue me not.

They say that your friends are the family you choose. Stiles calls bullshit. Because, no matter how much he may have wished it just last year, he never chose Lydia Martin as a friend, and, possibly for good reason. The woman was an awesome force of nature, and not "awesome" as in "cool", but "awesome" as in, "bow and tremble in abject fear".

Speaking of bowing and trembling, the poor receptionist looked about a second away from falling flat on her face and begging for mercy. Stiles glanced at Danny, who was standing at his side, "not even getting remotely involved" stamped all over his face.

Stiles was annoyed to find that, despite his recent divorce from Scott and the rampant foolishness of the last couple of years, he still had a stupidly heroic streak in him.

"Um, Lydia, I'm sure the poor girl did her best. Besides, we can totally come back another day, or, you know, never at all, since I'm pretty sure I was dragged here against my will and all..."

The mousy receptionist shot him a pathetically gratefully look as Stiles trailed off a little.The fearsome redhead twirled around gracefully on five inch heels and shot him an unimpressed look.

"Shut it, Stilinski. I didn't spend thirteen wretched summer pool parties kissing up to the owner's unbearable daughter just for the hell of it. She owes me, and she assured me she would be here to meet us-"

"Lydia? Is that you?" An accented voice called from behind them, and the trio turned around to be greeted by the sight that was Kaspar Bordeoux, son of Karl Bordeoux, owner of Xmuzik Records. And what a sight he was.

Kaspar was surprisingly short, about 5'4'', with a small amount of chub on his tummy and cheeks. His skin was smooth and dark as milk chocolate, but his hair, straight permed and choppily cut to just brush his shoulders, was an odd orange-yellow color that didn't look dyed. Electric blue eye contacts covered his irises, and silver rings and studs decorated his ears, right nostril, lower lip, and the bridge of his nose.

Kaspar was excitedly gesturing them over, so energetic that Stiles was worried he would lose his precarious balance on his probably seven inch heeled boots and fall right on his face.

As soon as she was arms reach, he exuberantly tossed his arms around Lydia and yanked her into a tight hug. Surprisingly, Lydia didn't look at all affronted, and even returned it, as far as Stiles could tell, sincerely. "Lydia, my princess, I haven't seen you in years! Why, if it wasn't for your amazing shoes and flawless, hair, I might not have recognized you!" Kaspar giggled happily, before his dancing eyes caught on Stiles and Danny "Oooh! And just who are these absolute hunks you've got here, mein liebling? Have you finally taken my advice and gotten yourself a harem?" Stiles choked on his spit. "No, Kaspar, don't be silly," Lydia rolled her eyes, "This is Stiles. I was supposed to meet with Karina and get an audition for him. He may not look like much, but his singing is substantially better. And this is Danny, he's our techie. " Stiles gave an awkward wave at his introduction. Danny nodded and flashed his heart-stopping smile, which made Kaspar melt into a giggling heap. How he managed to do that in studded neon leather and stilt shoes, Stiles would never know. "Oh, Lydia, darling, Karina left for her cruise to the Bahamas last week and she won't be back till next month! The was she's been chattering about it for weeks, I'm surprised she forgot to tell you!" Kaspar's brow wrinkled adorably, like a puzzled puppy, and not even Lydia had the heart to tell him his sister had not forgotten to do anything she meant to do at all. "Ah well, never mind her then!," he clapped decisively, and began to walk with surprising grace towards the bank of elevators," Follow me, and we'll see about that audition!" \----- As he flopped onto his comfy queen bed at the Bordeoux's house, Stiles could hardly believe what was happening. He had been so nervous at the audition, staring into Kaspar's expectant eyes. His voice had wavered a bit, even cracked a little at the beginning, but as the song continued, Stiles found himself falling into the song, remembering dancing around his parents' room with his mother, dressed up in glitter and feather boas and singing into hairbrushes. "Cause it makes me who I ammmm!" He yelled out the last lines of the song before slumping, the nerves catching up to him as he tried to catch his breath. Then there was silence. Then Kaspar giggled. Kaspar marched, somehow, in his six inched sandals, over, clothes heaped so high in his arms that Stiles was 99% sure he couldn't see where he was going. Lydia and Danny were not far behind. Nope, probably not. Maybe puking would work... \------ Stiles definitely felt like puking. It wasn't that big of an audience, and one usually pretty accepting. They were chatting happily, and had been unashamed of their enjoyment of the music so far. Lydia had done her job well. "Okay, Stilinski, you're up. Take a deep breath, smile, sing, and remember, if you fuck this up, I will evicerate you with a rusty spoon to the musical stylings of the Spice Girls. Nervous?" Lydia finished with a bright smile, as she straighted his vintage army style jacket. "Well, now I am," he muttered. "Hmm," was all the future leader of the world and current master of Stiles' existence had to contribute, before she pressed her lips firmly on his. Stiles gaped at his life-long crush. "What?" She shrugged, "I told you I would have you in lipstick somehow before the show." Stiles gaped at his life-long crush. "You evil bitch," he breathed in admiration before deliberately reaching up and slowly smearing the sneakily applied lipstick all over and around his mouth. He had the pleasure of seeing Lydia Fucking Martin's eyes widen in surprise before his name was being announced on stage. He strode out with his head held high, adrenaline and arousal running so thick in his veins that he forgot to be afraid. \------- "Hello, everyone, I'm Stiles. I'm new at this. Like, completely, slap me with a fish and call it tradition and I'd totally believe you new at this. So, like, tell me if I suck, OK? I won't cry...too much," and with that introduction, which garnered him a few chuckles and sympathetic nods, Stiles began. He started out with the same song from his audition, Burn Bright by one of his favorite bands, My Chemical Romance. Then he moved on to Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons, 21 Guns by Green Day, and, to rousing applause, Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars. High on the endorphins, Stiles bit his lip and decided to make an impulsive decision and hope Lydia doesn't kill him for it. Instead of starting the song they had agreed upon, he instead ran a hand through his hair and gave the crowd his best smile. "I, uh, I was totally supposed to sing a different song here, but, well, screw it, I wanted to sing this one. Danny, give me WMK. Lyds, please don't eviscerate me with a spoon." "I woke up I was stuck in a dream You were there You were tearing up everything But we all know how to fake it, baby We all know what we've done We must be killers Children of the wild ones Killers Where we got left to run? Killer, killer Killer, killer Killer, killer Killer, killer Set my body free Silver tigers in the moonlight running And the wind in the trees Singing 'Do you believe?' And we all know how to fake it, baby And all we know is gone We must be killers Children of the wild ones Killers Where we got left to run? Killer, killer Killer, killer Killer, killer Killer, killer We all know how to fake it, baby And all know what we've done We must be killers Children of the wild ones Killers Where we got left to run? Children of the wild ones Children of the wild ones Children of the wild ones... " The crowd was eerily silent for a moment, before the burst into cheers and claps. Stiles could see Lydia's face smiling at him. He smiled back. \------ Apparently, videos of his performance were now floating around the internet. The first one had been labeled "Check out this Lipstick Kid" and everyone had called him that in the comments, and it seemed to stick. Stiles wasn't sure at first what Lydia thought of it, but she shrugged, reapplied her own lipstick, and yanked out her iPhone to start filling his schedule. \----- So that launched the Stiles Stilinski Express, and after that, there was no slowing it down.

He performed at club after club, and even a coffee house here and there. He sang MCR and Muse and Mikky Ekko. He even took requests, warbling out everything from AC/DC to ZZ Ward. He sang songs from foreign artists, the Gorillaz and Kimbra and one time even got roped into a pathetic attempt at K-pop that went viral.

 

Then came his first interview....

 

\-------

"So, Stiles Stilinski, welcome to Sky-J Radio," the dread-locked radio talk show host greeted him with a gold tipped smile.

He barely had time to cobble out a response between the thoughts of "Did Captain Jack Sparrow have a baby with Bob Marley?" and "Yeah, I'd bang that".

 

"Thanks, Mindy! I'm so excited to be here, I think I might have pissed myself," he blurted.

 

Mindy giggled delightedly.

 

"Well, try to hold it in! We've just run out of our adult diapers after my fifteenth cup of coffee this morning...

 

"Anyway, I gotta get this out of the way first. Is your name really Stiles Stilinski?"

 

"No," Stiles replied," But the world will never know!" before chuckling evilly.

 

Mindy raised a supremely unimpressed pierced eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, not til the Wikipedia page, anyway," he mumbled, which made her laugh again.

"Ok, Ok, moving on then. So, you've just recently arrived on the scene, and are apparently taking it by storm! Has this been a life-long dream for you, or is this all unexpected?"

"Ahh, so unexpected, Mindy, you have no idea! I'm not really a spotlight guy, but my agent, and, let me quickly add, best friend and mistress, is a force to reckoned with!"

"Ooooh, mistress, huh? Is there something more between you and your lovely agent?"

"Ha! I wish! I've spent most of my life pining after her perfection, but, we're really just friends. I'm completely single right now," Stiles happily blathered.

Mindy made an exaggerated "danger" face.

"Oh no, Stiles, better look out! I see bombardment by screaming teenage girls in your near future after that statement. Also, speaking of teenage girls, a lot of them had tweeted the station to ask about your new internet inspired moniker, the Lipstick Kid. What is that about?"

Lydia had already briefed him on what to say here.

"What can I say, Mindy, I just like lipstick," Stiles replied, with his best rendition of the Whittemore smirk.

"Well, I know a lot of ladies who love that in a man," She smirked right back, before taking control of the conversation again.

After that, it was fairly standard interview stuff, talks about upcoming appearances, confirmation about a recod deal and possibly album in the works, and a couple more random facts and jokes.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, but thanks for coming, Stiles, and i for one can say that I will be looking forword to checking out your album when it drops!"

"Thanks, Mindy, and it was my pleasure!"

"I'm sure it was," Mindy finished with a sultry draw right after the room went off air and the DJ took over, leaving Stiles and Mindy to eye each other over their empty coffee cups.

She nodded her head at the exit before standing, and Stiles could only follow.

\------------

Two years later.

"Wow, Stiles. That was really classy," Danny murmured blandly as he turned the page of his Vogue magazine.

"What?!" Stiles demanded, rubbing at the new hickey right above his nipple.

"Well, let's see," the dark haired man replied, pulling out a small notebooks and opening it, "That makes it one driver, two waitresses, three assorted band members, four talk show hosts, five saleswomen, and six make-up artists. Do you have some kind of list for this?"

"No, but apparently you do! Why did you even make that list!" he snapped, still irritable from being called en flagrante delicto.

"Lydia," was all Danny said before picking up Tech Weekly.

"Fuck. I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"Hmm, no. I think she likes it. It gives you a very 'rock 'n' roll' image," the Hawaiin man replied, not even glancing up from the mags glossy pages.

"Great..." Stiles said, for lack of anything else, before heading off to shower.

Maybe he was getting a little out of control...


	2. Slip-ups in this town are like a sentence to life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updated the tags a bit.

One year and three months after the first performance.

 

Stiles thinks it was the MTV VMA's afterparty, but those things kind of all blur together after a year or so. But, yeah, it must have been, because people kept making what they probably thought were funny jokes based on his latest music video at the time, a monster infested high school set up featuring Patrick Stump.

Anyway, he had only stayed to recieve his award and get some face time, after that, he was in a back room with Bert McCraken getting higher than Miss Mary Mack.

But, somehow, while he was giggling in the back about, oh gosh, what was it, Kylie Minogue's tits or something, Lydia had run into some guy named Sutan Amrull. And she wouldn't shut up about it.

Well, not that she talked about him all the time, she was still Lydia Fucking Martin, after all, but she was always smirking at his texts and meeting him for shopping and brunch and heading to his shows or whatever, and Stiles was too baked to even care.

He still had Danny. Boy did he have Danny.

They would spend hours in his new apartment in Chelsea, making out lazily on the couch, shotgunning beer and smoke, and making disparaging comments about the fashion programs and sci-fi shows on TV.  
Danny was just so damned cool about it all.

If Stiles wanted to make out, they made out. If he wanted to just gently rest his aching, hungover head on Danny's firm thigh and close his eyes and listen to the universe and Danny's calm breaths, then they would, the flip of Danny's magazine pages a steady background noise. If Stiles wanted to eat, they would google random recipes and make a mess of the kitchen and themselves as they tried to make boboli and clam chowder and macaroons.

Stiles could safely say they were closer than they ever had been. But then Tommy Joe Ratliff happened.

\--------

It was all Kaspar's fault. The bubbly oranget had invited the three of them to "a little get-together" at the Hawaiian Bordeoux mansion that was meant to last for two weeks. It was one of the hottest parties of the year, and Stiles was actually pretty excited.

Endless white beaches, deep blue sea, all-you-can-eat buffets, amazing resort facilities, and Danny in a Speedo. It didn't really get any better than that.

But on the first day, Stiles had the one day stomach bug from hell, and had to spend another day afterwards recuperating. And in that time, Danny Mahealani met the small ball of talented hotness that Tommy Joe. By the time Stiles was up and about, it was much too late. His friend had been thoroughly entangled in the blond bass player's web.

So, Stiles was stuck in the most perfect corner of creation, alone, watching his two best friends smooching up to their new significant others.

And that's when he met Gabe Saporta and Jeffree Star.

He'd seen Gabe at some of the parties, but never really made contact. As for Jeffree, he was pretty sure he hadn't seen at all, because who could forget him? But they knew about him, somehow, and on one of the late afternoon/early evening pool parties, the two of them each picked an arm and absconded with his to the mansion's billiards room, where they had absolutely no intention playing pool. Or so he thought.

Apparently they did. If you could call the unnecessary butt wiggling, seductive stroking of cue stickes, and wanton posing on the table that they were engaging in, "playing pool".

Jeffree lit up a joint, nothing too intense, and Gabe had pulled a couple of beer bottles out of the mini-fridge, and the three of them shot the shit and took very few actual shots. It was relaxing, in a weird way.

It was even more relaxing when Gabe shoved all the balls in the pockets and had him lay on the table so he and Jeffree could take body shots.

And then Pete Wentz strolled in, singing Young Volcanoes at the top of his breath, and before they knew it, all four of them were dancing around the room, shirtless, and singing loudly out of tune at the top of their lungs.

Jeffree pulled a glitter gun and a giant neon yellow dildo out of somewhere, someone put on Lady Gaga and turned off the lights, and what followed was one of the strangest sexual acts Stiles had ever participated in. He wasn't even sure what all happened, but he was expelling glitter from strange orifices for days afterwards.

The trip turned out to be even more fun than he thought...


	3. Chapter 3

Guys, I know my formatting sucks at the mo', and I have done every fucking thing I can thing of to fix it, and when I try to edit, everything looks kosher, but when I post it, it looks like shit. Someone who's good at formatting, please help me!


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